The shitstorm hits the lovingly-rendered fan.

I have tried to just let it pass, but I can't. I have been wronged, and I need to let it out somewhere. Here is the only place I really have, but it seems wasteful that nobody will see it. Oh well, so be it. It is a long, slow, and hard process to get respected, but it has to start somewhere.

So, Killzone 2 is the 'Great White Hope' for the PS3, and it really is setting new standards. Not for gameplay, or anything remotely good, but instead for rampant fanboyism. Honestly, the Sony Defence Force have been more active than I can ever remember them being. Mostly because of this review from EDGE online, which gave it a 7. Now, EDGE don't rate like everyone else. For them, a 5 is the average, and a 7 is very good. But, the SDF retards are up in arms because it isn't a 10.

SDF retard website extraordinaire PSXExtreme really took umbrage to it, and have posted one of, if not THE single most ridiculous piece of "journalism" it has ever been my displeasure to read. Honestly, this has to be some kind of joke, as no right thinking person could ever actually believe the rubbish that Ben Dutka is spouting there. EDGE is about as marquee name as it gets in games reviewing circles. They have been around for years, and whilst not the behemoths they once were, are still known and respected everywhere. For some upstart PlayStation branded site to accuse EDGE of chasing hits? It beggars belief.

I read the article, and some of the comments, and was staggered at what I saw. So, I registered at the site, and responded to some of the comments. No fanboyism involved, just correcting factual innaccuracies. An example is when notp posts "7 out of ten is A REALLY GOOD SCORE. It is significantly above average (average being FIVE, not SEVEN, sort it out)." Aftab responds with "If you take a true mathetical average on the score of all games, say on metacritic, you will see that a 5 is below average." Naturally, I had to correct him, and put something pretty much word for word like :

"Aftab, you need educating as to what an average is. 0+1+2+3+4+5+6+7+8+9+10=55/11=5. In a 10 point scale, the mean average is 5. This is the scale EDGE uses for rating. 7 is above average." I also then went on to post my own comment, in which I called out Mr. Dutka for having no journalistic integrity. I responded to one or two others, but my main post was 'awaiting moderation'.

Which of course means that it never reached the site! Mr. Dutka decided not to let my words out in case ... well, that's for him to say why, really. I know what I wrote, and one or two other people will have seen the other posts that have since been deleted. (Curiously, not all of them.) Interestingly, some of the site members are now suggesting that Mr. Dutka has become a power-crazed moderator, which is hardly a new phenomenom on the internet!

What have we come to here? I KNOW they are just a small and somewhat insignificant corner of the web, and that any reasonable and intelligent person just would not post there again, but I am wired somewhat differently. I take it as an affront that my post has been moderated despite containing absolutely nothing that violates the terms I agreed to when signing up. I want to go back and keep on posting, but they have actually deleted my account there! I kid you not, you couldn't make stuff like this up if you tried.

This is a new level of fanboyism we are seeing. It is a kind of evolution. Not only are the SDF getting louder, they are now actively silencing any dissenting voices. What next? Will they trace our IP addresses and come to break our fingers?

It's comedy of epic proportions, the kind of drama that makes you both loathe and love the internet. They are ripe for piss takes. Suffice it to say that Destructoid nailed it, and every single fibre of my being wishes I had written that!

I hate review scores, which is why review-me-do's don't have them. They lead to exactly this sort of childish behaviour. The simple fact is that you can not convey all that is good or bad about a game with a score. If that were the case, there would never be a difference of opinion on any game. And Shadow of the Colossus would get 10's everywhere!

Mirrors Edge review-me-do.

The trailers were so promising! Full of blue-skies, incredible stunts, gymnastic feats, and WEEEEECOOLSPEEDY bits. Sure, the protagonist is a tad ugly, but who the hell cares about that in a game where pretty much the only thing you never see is your own face?

With good reason, people have been excited about this one. In a world full of REHASHAN and SHOOTAN, something new is something to celebrate. And Mirror's Edge is definitely a contender for "Coolest idea of the year" in gameplay terms. When people call it a 'free running' game they are mistaken, although it certainly seems that way at first. It is not Parkour, though, because you are not really trying to do anything with style. You are mostly getting from A to B as fast as possible, which maturally involves jumping and sliding, so it is obvious why people made the connection.

And, it has to be said, there are parts of Mirror's Edge that genuinely capture a feeling of unbridled motion along the rooftops. Sometimes you see where you need to be, and immediately see several ways to get there. On these instances you simply can't help yourself ; You COULD just climb that wall, but why do that when you could jump up there, slide over there, and then launch from that and roll nicely upon landing? A lack of momentum is rarely punished, and yet you feel a need to maintain it. It is purely because it is so much fun, the game appears to not actively punish you for slowing down.

Which is why it is so frustrating when the game FORCES you to slow down! Honestly, up on those rooftops is Nirvana. You feel at times like you never want to go back indoors again. So, the decision to set half the game indoors is a baffling one. Crawling through air ducts has NEVER been enjoyable, and yet in the first three chapters I have had to do it on at least three occasions. So, let me get this straight ... I am able to run along walls before leaping to catch the slightest overhang, and so naturally I take advantage of this by crawling in confined spaces. Or, waiting in lifts for a minute at a time!

It's crazy. It's almost like in the Sonic games, where the designers seem to want to restrict you too often. The best part is the running. By limiting the running, they are also limiting the fun. Because, GENERIC SHOOTAN GAME #34 does the in-building combat bits so much better than Mirror's Edge does.

I get that it wouldn't be realistic for Faith to be some kind of tank. She is an athlete, not a warrior, and so it makes total sense that she can't just stand there and absorb gunshots. But, it does seem like she is somewhat of a wuss. Pretty much two shots mean curtains. Now, I like this, but then it becomes a problem when there are more than two enemies around. Which is more or less every time there are any enemies around. Throw in the occasional helicopter gunship, and another SERIOUS flaw, and it would be very easy to hate this game.

SERIOUS flaw. Almost a game-breaker. I'm not even kidding, it is more than frustrating, it is absolutely infuriating.

Apparently, there is a thing called 'Runner Vision' wherein things you are meant to jump off/climb up/interact with are red. This is nice, but often there is nothing red on your screen at all. And so you can press B to show you where to go. Yes, the game felt the need to include a "Where the fuck do I go?" button. Something I have frequently wished more games would do, as it happens. It is a great move, except for a quite glaringly obvious contradiction.

A game about MOVEMENT and FLOW should not really ever leave me wondering "Where the fuck do I go?", should it? Am I alone in finding this to be a somewhat major gripe? Plus, it doesn't even work properly. Early in chapter 3 you come to a roof with no obvious way up to it. You can see precisely where you need to be, and a quick press of "Where the fuck do I go?" confirms this, and yet it seems to be completely beyond your reach.

I tried multiple combinations of jumps, wallruns, rolls, turns, and could not reach the next rooftop. It made no sense. I don't even know why I found the button that moved the window cleaning platform so that I could reach the roof, but it would have been nice if "Where the fuck do I go?" pointed me there instead of my ultimate destination! Fifteen whole minutes on that roof, trying every kind of athletic feat I could think of, when the solution was something far more mundane.

Playing Mirror's Edge, then, is akin to visiting a friends house as a child. He has some wonderful toys, so much better than yours, but you are only able to play with them for a couple of minutes before they are taken away. To make things worse, if you ever do get the chance to play with them on your own, you find that they are hidden from you and you have to go and find them first.

I have completed the first three chapters so far, and I have been somewhat disappointed in what I have played. Sure, there are moments where it has been everything that I had hoped for, but they have been too few and far between. Any game that has me shouting "WHERE THE FUCK DO I GO?" at the screen even when it includes a button to answer that question is getting something very basic very wrong. I'm not asking to have my hand-held. I am just asking for clear direction. By all means make getting to my destination as hard as you like, but never hide it from me.

I file this under 'Missed opportunity', then. I am sure that time trials and speedruns will change things for the better, but having to plod through a story first to get to the good bits is less fun than the designers seem to think. A game that is about getting from A to Z should also show you the way to the other 24 letters, and Mirror's Edge doesn't do that well enough.